My philosophy on endings being new beginnings makes some things
easier to deal with. Once the dust has settled from a major life
changing event, it begins to make sense. But don't let that fool you
into thinking you won't (or that I didn't) completely fall to pieces for
a while if and when you happen to get laid off. Even if you hate the
job and it was the least fulfilling thing you've ever done with your
time, losing it is like an Earthquake. Your foundation gets wobbly and
unstable, and then you get a tsunami of anxiety and fears for the
future. All normal. How are you now going to pay for all of your
financial obligations? What are your kids going to eat? Are you gonna
lose your house? Pulling your hair out and wondering if you're worth
anything at all in this great cosmic mess - not at all unusual. And
we're talking about a j-o-b that you don't even like!
However
there is hope and there are solutions! Yay! Allow yourself to feel the
grief and wallow in your misery for a while. But not too long, because
you don't want to waste this opportunity to do what fills you up and
makes your life as awesome as it is. And you sure don't want to prevent
it from becoming what it is about to bloom into! Right? Right!
Losing a job is like the universe coming along and pushing you out of your comfort zone because may be you've been slacking and getting to comfortable, or maybe you were wandering lost through life, or maybe you just weren't doing much of anything at all except the bare minimum for surviving. The divine powers that conspire for you to be the best possible you have kicked you out of your job and into your life. So now is the time to get into action and real life 'be-ing.'
So what do you do now? As soon as you've filed your claim for unemployment or decided you don't need to because you have a good buffer or other system in place, get to work filling your time with what makes you healthier, happier, and more of service. Get your body into the best shape it's ever been in. Use the hell out of your gym membership if you think you're gonna have to cancel it due to insufficient funding. Take walks every single day with your partner, kids, dog, neighbors, friends, parents, whomever. Get that ass out and about, doing something that makes your body feel so damn good. Start new fitness habits like yoga or roller skating or fencing if you want. Just get your body movin and groovin.
Start tackling that list of "If only I had the time..." things. Because other than the 1-2 hours you might spend searching for jobs and filling out applications, you've got tons of time now. And it's supposed to be that way. If you have always wanted to learn some craft or a new way of cooking, or if you've wanted to spend more time with x,y, or z people, do it now. Volunteer some of your time to others, because let's face it, you might not be able to donate money to whatever charity you love, for a while anyway. How can you contribute? Find out, and then do it.
Spend ample time discovering your spiritual self. Read a self help book, or dive deeper into your personal religion or spiritual practice. Meditate, pray, sing, chant, sit, become aware, get in touch. If you know nothing about this side of yourself, this maybe be a huge reason you have been laid off. You gotta get it together and figure out what you mean to the world, what your gifts are, and what your purpose is. I know this is vague and can be difficult to do/understand, but just trying it is the important thing. Go out into nature and observe it, feel yourself an integral part of the great scheme of things. Even if you're an atheist (and I'm not trying to change you), spend some time quieting your mind. It will relieve stress and anxiety - our brains and endocrine system and all our organs benefit tremendously from conscious quiet and stilling the insane thought patterns and neural pathways we have created over life.
This time being laid off is a gift of exploration. You can learn about you and the people you love and the issues you can help resolve and what you really like doing and what you'd like in your future. Envision your future self being happy and satisfied, and work back from there.
However it is you decide to spend your time, it is crucial that you have or find a system of support for those times when you feel like your mojo is gone and will never return. I know this first hand. You need people to uplift you and help you see that this is definitely something you CAN handle, and that it is a blessing with a really ugly Halloween costume on. But you will be ok. Your friends and family will babysit when you interview for the job of your dreams you never knew you wanted, or when you're starting your own business, or when you decide you'd rather be a stay at home whatever. If you don't have or live near people who can support you this way, Meetup.com is an excellent resource. Craigslist may be too. There are people forming intentional communities all over the world now. And if you really can find what you need, contact me and I will help you!
Here is what you don't do for extended periods of time when you're laid off. You don't eat tons of garbage while sitting in front of the tv watching shows you don't even really like just because you feel hopeless. It is normal to binge a little bit on stuff that provides some filling of the voids, but don't get used to it. If you find you are saying to yourself something like, "It doesn't matter if I eat fast food all day for 5 days straight because nothing is going right and nothing matters anyway..." pay close attention to it, and say out loud, "STOP!" Do it every time you have a depressed thought. This will help you learn new ways to think.
If you realize you're having a real depression/anxiety/panic situation, find yourself an herbalist, holistic phychotherapist, life coach, cranial sacral or polarity therapist, or naturopathic physician. Whichever modality seems like the best fit for you is what you should seek out - there is no one size fits all when it comes to practitioners. But any of them can help you through it, and recommend strategies for coping and/or foods, herbs, or supplements to help balance your system. (Click here for a list of practitioners).
Is it starting to get a little clearer? Getting laid off will hopefully turn out to be one of the best things that will ever happen to you, even though it will have difficult and even heart breaking moments of despair. If this concept making sense, read it again in a week. And if still by then it hasn't clicked, then you're really stuck in a negative Nancy kind of place, and I'd like to help you get through it. Check out my services page or send me an email.
